by the way. i think i forgot to mention this.
i proudly annouce that i've declined CJ's acceptance of my appeal.
aiights.
shoot me if you're one of those dying by the phone while waiting for cj to call
no, wait.
why shud you shoot me??
me declining= 1 more vacancy for you!
ah ha.

anyhow. here was how the conversation went:

-handphone goes ring ring-

me: *stares at unknown number*

me: hello?

angmoh sounding guy:
hi. i'm hjfiewhrhe calling from catholic jc
-i cant recall his chim name lah-

me: ohhhh...*pretends to be enlightened* uh. hi!

angmoh guy: .....are you still interested in joining us at catholic jc?

me: *stunned* oh. uh yes but well, i've also appealed into IJ and they've accepted me. so i'm there for the orientation in the meantime
- i have no idea if my answer's a yes or no-

angmoh guy: ........................so it'd be rude if you're going to tell the skool that you want to get out when you're already in there.....

- i totally cant rmb what he said cos my mind was in a whirl and this guy was so not helpin!-

me: hahas. oh. oh yeah.. i guess it'd be rude if i do so... uh,so i'll stay in IJ?

-tryin hard not to sound so fucking lame-

me: *quickly adds* but. jus to know, am i actually accepted by your skool??

angmoh guy: yes you are.

me: *screamsss. breatheesss. hyperventilatesss*
oh no. gosh. hahas. ok, thanks so much
...............
-and my mind blanked out-

lyk, OMGAWD!
there wasnt even ample time for me to think and make a decision.
it was a situation which was lyk,
*snaps fingers*
tell me NOW.
yes i have been weighing the pros and cons for days,
but when it boils down to a 5 secs situation,
it wasnt possible to think straight.
didnt know how to react, what to respond.
swear i felt lyk killing myself.
i mean, i studied hard for my o's cos i knew i have to and need to get into CJ since i've come to the painful realization that SA's far-off for me base on my intellectual abilites.

and i cant believe i gave it all up.
chose to appeal,to stay in IJ
dont get me wrong,
im not saying that IJ's bad and all,
but i had 2 reasons for choosing IJ.
one of which may seem irrational,
and im not even certain if it's worth it.

but heck, we live life only once
and im gonna risk it this time round.
Life is so complicated.
You can never fully predict the extent of your choices.
also.
i know that, in fact, no matter which jc i got posted to..
i would still end up wanting to get into IJ.
sad but true.


hence, as i've told my IJ friends,
since i'm alr in here, might as well just stay and be happy
Choosing another path wouldn't have put you in a better situation.
It just means you haven't reached that special point where you can look back and see that everything in your life made sense.



i really hope everything'll turn out alright